








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 140 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 212 matches | ||
| Premier | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3986 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,071 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6818 | 31% |
| Smokes | 5297 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5108 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4848 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,405,583 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 196 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jybert | 52% | 285 |
| #2 | PasiPaisti | 51% | 100 |
| #3 | kaNe8D | 50% | 341 |
| #4 | jhxR | 50% | 476 |
| #5 | Cock-Onen | 49% | 452 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | PasiPaisti | 51% | 100 |
| #3 | kaNe8D | 50% | 341 |
| #4 | jhxR | 50% | 476 |
| #5 | Cock-Onen | 49% | 452 |
| #6 | Afom | 45% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cock-Onen | 20 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Jybert | 9 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | jhxR | 5 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | kaNe8D | 5 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | PasiPaisti | 3 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jhxR | 2059 | 0.20 | 63 min |
| #2 | Cock-Onen | 1832 | 0.19 | 49 min |
| #3 | kaNe8D | 1454 | 0.20 | 40 min |
| #4 | Jybert | 1211 | 0.20 | 35 min |
| #5 | PasiPaisti | 462 | 0.21 | 14 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kaNe8D | +1.22 | 72 | 73 |
| #2 | jhxR | +0.93 | 59 | 86 |
| #3 | PasiPaisti | +0.41 | 66 | 71 |
| #4 | Jybert | -0.14 | 59 | 72 |
| #5 | Cock-Onen | -0.84 | 39 | 75 |





