








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 168 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 177 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
1494 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,736 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2235 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1943 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2154 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1404 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $502,348 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 192 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Effelicious | 70% | 20 |
| #2 | Undukrig | 56% | 32 |
| #3 | Felix | 55% | 135 |
| #4 | Danish Kalashnikov | 50% | 108 |
| #5 | b3nnyF | 49% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | b3nnyF | 49% | 37 |
| #6 | Pomfritten | 49% | 134 |
| #7 | 7000 Fredericia | 48% | 111 |
| #8 | ziggish | 42% | 12 |
| #9 | w0bz | 41% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Felix | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Pomfritten | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Effelicious | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Danish Kalashnikov | 361 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #2 | Felix | 334 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #3 | 7000 Fredericia | 287 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #4 | Pomfritten | 136 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | w0bz | 129 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Effelicious | +2.11 | 81 | 63 |
| #2 | w0bz | +1.32 | 73 | 72 |
| #3 | Pomfritten | +1.02 | 53 | 63 |
| #4 | Felix | +0.54 | 63 | 71 |
| #5 | ziggish | +0.46 | 68 | 75 |





