








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1487 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 329 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 120 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3440 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,753 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2380 | 19% |
| Smokes | 4257 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3651 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2465 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,694,770 of utility $200 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 260 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mac&Cheese | 58% | 101 |
| #2 | Wa ge | 53% | 87 |
| #3 | KING WATERMELON FARMER | 53% | 36 |
| #4 | Sethjn | 53% | 220 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mac&Cheese | 58% | 101 |
| #2 | Wa ge | 53% | 87 |
| #3 | KING WATERMELON FARMER | 53% | 36 |
| #4 | Sethjn | 53% | 220 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sethjn | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Mac&Cheese | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Wa ge | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sethjn | 267 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #2 | Wa ge | 147 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | Mac&Cheese | 121 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | KING WATERMELON FARMER | 7 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BiggFentanyl | +3.45 | 67 | 60 |
| #2 | Sethjn | -1.12 | 52 | 49 |
| #3 | Wa ge | -2.65 | 47 | 55 |
| #4 | KING WATERMELON FARMER | -3.13 | 7 | 4 |
| #5 | Mac&Cheese | -3.75 | 22 | 33 |





