










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
787 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,658 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 580 | 35% |
| Smokes | 180 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 663 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 235 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $674,371 of utility $200 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 39 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BiggFentanyl | 58% | 101 |
| #2 | Sethjn | 57% | 42 |
| #3 | Wa ge | 45% | 96 |
| #4 | Ego Peak | 42% | 19 |
| #5 | KING WATERMELON FARMER | 41% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BiggFentanyl | 58% | 101 |
| #2 | Sethjn | 57% | 42 |
| #3 | Wa ge | 45% | 96 |
| #4 | Ego Peak | 42% | 19 |
| #5 | KING WATERMELON FARMER | 41% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BiggFentanyl | 9 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Ego Peak | 5 | 0.0133 |
| #3 | Wa ge | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Sethjn | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | KING WATERMELON FARMER | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wa ge | 199 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #2 | BiggFentanyl | 165 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | Sethjn | 48 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Ego Peak | 25 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | KING WATERMELON FARMER | 11 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BiggFentanyl | +6.79 | 67 | 62 |
| #2 | Sethjn | +2.47 | 59 | 52 |
| #3 | Ego Peak | +0.51 | 63 | 36 |
| #4 | KING WATERMELON FARMER | -2.23 | 8 | 4 |
| #5 | Wa ge | -2.40 | 50 | 57 |





