








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 958 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1886 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,992 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1127 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1446 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1194 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1225 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $721,710 of utility $209 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 791 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⱥ𝕟𝓒υ ♡ | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | Tsifka | 72% | 25 |
| #3 | Mystery 𓆩♡𓆪 | 65% | 97 |
| #4 | LitsiEma | 63% | 30 |
| #5 | Junzu | 63% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Doof | 61% | 110 |
| #7 | Komeetx | 57% | 47 |
| #8 | SVL | 57% | 14 |
| #9 | ❤️Cute girl | 50% | 16 |
| #10 | Tarmo | 50% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tarmo | 5 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | Mystery 𓆩♡𓆪 | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Doof | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Komeetx | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Junzu | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mystery 𓆩♡𓆪 | 265 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | Doof | 130 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | Komeetx | 97 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | LitsiEma | 78 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | Tarmo | 64 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SVL | +4.22 | 61 | 67 |
| #2 | muffin enjoyer | +2.47 | 61 | 60 |
| #3 | LitsiEma | +2.08 | 85 | 69 |
| #4 | ⱥ𝕟𝓒υ ♡ | +1.72 | 79 | 45 |
| #5 | Tsifka | +1.62 | 78 | 76 |





