










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 192 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
444 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 251 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 114 | 45% |
| Smokes | 24 | 10% |
| HE Grenades | 70 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 43 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $99,960 of utility $24 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 297 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sail | 47% | 106 |
| #2 | Daddy Shrek | 44% | 170 |
| #3 | Rucas | 43% | 184 |
| #4 | uncereal | 42% | 33 |
| #5 | Finn00 | 34% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sail | 47% | 106 |
| #2 | Daddy Shrek | 44% | 170 |
| #3 | Rucas | 43% | 184 |
| #4 | uncereal | 42% | 33 |
| #5 | Finn00 | 34% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rucas | 27 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | Daddy Shrek | 20 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | Sail | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Finn00 | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | uncereal | 4 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daddy Shrek | 922 | 0.27 | 29 min |
| #2 | Rucas | 367 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #3 | Sail | 268 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | uncereal | 148 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #5 | Finn00 | 11 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uncereal | +7.24 | 83 | 68 |
| #2 | Sail | +6.64 | 79 | 60 |
| #3 | Rucas | +2.45 | 59 | 55 |
| #4 | Daddy Shrek | +1.49 | 36 | 73 |
| #5 | Finn00 | -4.53 | 13 | 13 |





