








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 177 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
416 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 140 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 73 | 52% |
| Smokes | 26 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 11 | 8% |
| Molotovs | 30 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $169,602 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 258 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Russamang | 57% | 7 |
| #2 | ℂ𝕄𝕊 | Femiman | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | Nine | 54% | 26 |
| #4 | dswowwow44 | 46% | 28 |
| #5 | Quack | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ℂ𝕄𝕊 | Femiman | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | Nine | 54% | 26 |
| #4 | dswowwow44 | 46% | 28 |
| #5 | Quack | 33% | 6 |
| #6 | ChiliMxc | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dswowwow44 | 4 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | Nine | 3 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | ℂ𝕄𝕊 | Femiman | 2 | 0.0115 |
| #4 | ChiliMxc | 1 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nine | 77 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #2 | dswowwow44 | 46 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | ChiliMxc | 30 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | Russamang | 26 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #5 | ℂ𝕄𝕊 | Femiman | 7 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nine | +3.06 | 56 | 56 |
| #2 | Russamang | +3.02 | 56 | 65 |
| #3 | Voidz | +1.48 | 74 | 10 |
| #4 | ℂ𝕄𝕊 | Femiman | -1.04 | 54 | 20 |
| #5 | ChiliMxc | -1.10 | 32 | 46 |





