








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 25 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 90 matches | ||
| Premier | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




74 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2765 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,604 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 960 | 37% |
| Smokes | 725 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 691 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 228 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,349,123 of utility $244 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 688 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nine | 69% | 49 |
| #2 | Russamang | 63% | 49 |
| #3 | ChiliMxc | 60% | 15 |
| #4 | dswowwow44 | 57% | 72 |
| #5 | Bee3D | 57% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Russamang | 63% | 49 |
| #3 | ChiliMxc | 60% | 15 |
| #4 | dswowwow44 | 57% | 72 |
| #5 | Bee3D | 57% | 58 |
| #6 | Dead Man AK | 56% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dswowwow44 | 9 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | Bee3D | 7 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | Nine | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Dead Man AK | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Russamang | 201 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #2 | Nine | 154 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | dswowwow44 | 130 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | Dead Man AK | 41 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | ChiliMxc | 39 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Russamang | +4.07 | 53 | 67 |
| #2 | Nine | +3.76 | 61 | 55 |
| #3 | Bee3D | +2.12 | 61 | 37 |
| #4 | ℂ𝕄𝕊 | Femiman | +1.80 | 76 | 31 |
| #5 | Dead Man AK | +0.48 | 43 | 44 |





