








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 361 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 34 matches | ||
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1076 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,110 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1562 | 38% |
| Smokes | 576 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 976 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 996 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $348,883 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 917 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rocis | 70% | 23 |
| #2 | ♡E⭕⃤ | 68% | 19 |
| #3 | Raymond Reddington | 65% | 23 |
| #4 | Игорь большой пен | 65% | 23 |
| #5 | NoelPlink | 63% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Raymond Reddington | 65% | 23 |
| #4 | Игорь большой пен | 65% | 23 |
| #5 | NoelPlink | 63% | 40 |
| #6 | Tankki | 55% | 31 |
| #7 | meow | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NoelPlink | 13 | 0.0168 |
| #2 | Tankki | 5 | 0.0082 |
| #3 | Rocis | 4 | 0.0095 |
| #4 | Raymond Reddington | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | ♡E⭕⃤ | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NoelPlink | 153 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #2 | ♡E⭕⃤ | 122 | 0.31 | 3 min |
| #3 | Rocis | 107 | 0.25 | 2 min |
| #4 | Tankki | 100 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | Raymond Reddington | 47 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Raymond Reddington | +2.56 | 52 | 56 |
| #2 | BLEHHHH | +2.05 | 78 | 59 |
| #3 | Tankki | +0.65 | 49 | 66 |
| #4 | Rocis | +0.10 | 44 | 56 |
| #5 | NoelPlink | -0.50 | 55 | 53 |





