








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1093 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 267 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 43 matches | ||
| Wingman | 32 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 73 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6175 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,994 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9743 | 36% |
| Smokes | 6495 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3927 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 6829 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,402,942 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 665 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bob4ik | 60% | 50 |
| #2 | Rille | 59% | 44 |
| #3 | Ceipi | 58% | 38 |
| #4 | nicozoro | 55% | 55 |
| #5 | Tankki | 53% | 72 |





