










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 334 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1007 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 701 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 164 | 23% |
| Smokes | 222 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 158 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 157 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $184,676 of utility $46 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | T1zerDon | 61% | 28 |
| #2 | Sentrenc | 60% | 20 |
| #3 | Toomas Sularaha | 49% | 68 |
| #4 | HDSass | 47% | 145 |
| #5 | Waslip | 43% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Toomas Sularaha | 49% | 68 |
| #4 | HDSass | 47% | 145 |
| #5 | Waslip | 43% | 54 |
| #6 | PRIME FNCS | 38% | 16 |
| #7 | M&M Le Eminem | 37% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HDSass | 59 | 0.0203 |
| #2 | Waslip | 24 | 0.0213 |
| #3 | M&M Le Eminem | 24 | 0.0218 |
| #4 | Toomas Sularaha | 14 | 0.0111 |
| #5 | PRIME FNCS | 10 | 0.0341 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HDSass | 383 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #2 | Waslip | 145 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #3 | Toomas Sularaha | 99 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | Sentrenc | 91 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #5 | T1zerDon | 79 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HDSass | +4.95 | 77 | 47 |
| #2 | T1zerDon | +4.41 | 57 | 44 |
| #3 | M&M Le Eminem | +3.47 | 69 | 40 |
| #4 | PRIME FNCS | +3.05 | 55 | 39 |
| #5 | Toomas Sularaha | +2.53 | 61 | 15 |





