








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 135 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1598 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,983 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1118 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1489 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1356 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1020 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $667,350 of utility $188 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 119 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spede_ | 60% | 15 |
| #2 | Dr. Spedinov | 58% | 31 |
| #3 | no ? | 58% | 26 |
| #4 | theDONALD | 52% | 27 |
| #5 | Chillor | 46% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spede_ | 60% | 15 |
| #2 | Dr. Spedinov | 58% | 31 |
| #3 | no ? | 58% | 26 |
| #4 | theDONALD | 52% | 27 |
| #5 | Chillor | 46% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr. Spedinov | 3 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | no ? | 2 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | theDONALD | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | spede_ | 1 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr. Spedinov | 114 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #2 | Chillor | 108 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | no ? | 90 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #4 | theDONALD | 44 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | spede_ | 36 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | no ? | +3.46 | 89 | 58 |
| #2 | Uklack | +1.56 | 63 | 58 |
| #3 | spede_ | +0.45 | 59 | 72 |
| #4 | Dr. Spedinov | +0.39 | 60 | 76 |
| #5 | theDONALD | +0.34 | 57 | 61 |





