








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 244 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
880 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,248 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1328 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1115 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 971 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 834 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $87,308 of utility $32 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1075 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | i hate traders | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | mandingo | 71% | 83 |
| #3 | mandingo | 70% | 10 |
| #4 | moxcen | 69% | 16 |
| #5 | The Rat King | 60% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | i hate traders | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | mandingo | 71% | 83 |
| #3 | mandingo | 70% | 10 |
| #4 | moxcen | 69% | 16 |
| #5 | The Rat King | 60% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mandingo | 49 | 0.0339 |
| #2 | moxcen | 12 | 0.0446 |
| #3 | mandingo | 10 | 0.0658 |
| #4 | i hate traders | 5 | 0.0307 |
| #5 | The Rat King | 4 | 0.0230 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mandingo | 223 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #2 | The Rat King | 35 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #3 | moxcen | 28 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #4 | mandingo | 28 | 0.18 | 0 min |
| #5 | i hate traders | 23 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mandingo | +6.85 | 86 | 59 |
| #2 | moxcen | +2.13 | 68 | 50 |
| #3 | i hate traders | +2.04 | 63 | 43 |
| #4 | mandingo | +1.94 | 67 | 33 |
| #5 | The Lion | +0.54 | 52 | 50 |





