








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 30 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
922 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,325 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 325 | 25% |
| Smokes | 264 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 378 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 358 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $78,516 of utility $66 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 18 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mandingo | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | The Lion | 70% | 10 |
| #3 | mandingo | 65% | 49 |
| #4 | Comp1ex | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | The Rat King | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | The Lion | 70% | 10 |
| #3 | mandingo | 65% | 49 |
| #4 | Comp1ex | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | The Rat King | 33% | 6 |
| #6 | Kecchi | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mandingo | 20 | 0.0264 |
| #2 | mandingo | 4 | 0.0250 |
| #3 | The Lion | 4 | 0.0250 |
| #4 | Comp1ex | 3 | 0.0143 |
| #5 | The Rat King | 2 | 0.0161 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mandingo | 109 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #2 | The Lion | 59 | 0.37 | 1 min |
| #3 | Comp1ex | 24 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | The Rat King | 17 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| #5 | Kecchi | 17 | 0.19 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mandingo | +5.86 | 96 | 43 |
| #2 | mandingo | +5.35 | 97 | 48 |
| #3 | Kecchi | +3.75 | 79 | 69 |
| #4 | The Lion | +1.00 | 58 | 46 |
| #5 | Comp1ex | -2.54 | 64 | 42 |





