










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 265 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 293 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1916 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,632 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1483 | 14% |
| Smokes | 2585 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4058 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 2506 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,455,040 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 85 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | < blank > | 42% | 24 |
| #2 | oukie | 38% | 88 |
| #3 | NEMISES | 34% | 178 |
| #4 | Zero__Ice__28 | 33% | 51 |
| #5 | Scrubs | 32% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Kaptein XM 69 | 28% | 50 |
| #11 | BaZiNgA | 28% | 40 |
| #12 | Slyrak | 27% | 41 |
| #13 | DUB_Man | 26% | 42 |
| #14 | Mech | 23% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DaddyDman | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | NEMISES | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | oukie | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | < blank > | 5 | 0.0099 |
| #5 | NuRoCk | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NEMISES | 421 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #2 | DaddyDman | 281 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | NuRoCk | 241 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #4 | VlugvoetigeFanie | 221 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | Kaptein XM 69 | 146 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oukie | +5.35 | 71 | 57 |
| #2 | Scrubs | +3.45 | 83 | 62 |
| #3 | Zero__Ice__28 | +2.77 | 45 | 44 |
| #4 | < blank > | +2.39 | 46 | 43 |
| #5 | NuRoCk | +2.26 | 36 | 73 |





