








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 91 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 269 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 67 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1202 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,266 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1776 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2396 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2087 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1007 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $621,261 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 242 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | < blank > | 46% | 24 |
| #2 | VlugvoetigeFanie | 41% | 105 |
| #3 | oukie | 39% | 80 |
| #4 | NuRoCk | 38% | 52 |
| #5 | Zero__Ice__28 | 37% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Stealth2603 | 31% | 191 |
| #9 | Slyrak | 27% | 60 |
| #10 | BaZiNgA | 26% | 27 |
| #11 | Kaptein XM 69 | 25% | 40 |
| #12 | Mech | 22% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stealth2603 | 8 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | NEMISES | 7 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | oukie | 7 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | VlugvoetigeFanie | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | NuRoCk | 3 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stealth2603 | 296 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #2 | NEMISES | 257 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | VlugvoetigeFanie | 206 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | NuRoCk | 154 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | oukie | 134 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oukie | +5.69 | 66 | 56 |
| #2 | Zero__Ice__28 | +2.87 | 48 | 54 |
| #3 | NuRoCk | +2.61 | 32 | 76 |
| #4 | < blank > | +1.62 | 36 | 43 |
| #5 | VlugvoetigeFanie | +1.36 | 19 | 72 |





