








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1239 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 274 matches | ||
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 144 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4052 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,669 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6809 | 36% |
| Smokes | 4089 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3993 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3778 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,098,564 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4312 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ne regaet | 61% | 31 |
| #2 | siliconboi | 59% | 61 |
| #3 | Y0UG1N | 56% | 62 |
| #4 | faSd | 55% | 49 |
| #5 | Meh | 54% | 208 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Meh | 54% | 208 |
| #6 | Salty Style | 53% | 118 |
| #7 | schizzz | 52% | 48 |
| #8 | Sansa | 48% | 110 |
| #9 | monkey | 45% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meh | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | Y0UG1N | 5 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Sansa | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | monkey | 3 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | faSd | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meh | 370 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #2 | Y0UG1N | 235 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #3 | schizzz | 207 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #4 | Salty Style | 183 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | faSd | 143 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sansa | +3.14 | 54 | 25 |
| #2 | ne regaet | +3.01 | 32 | 68 |
| #3 | Salty Style | +1.24 | 52 | 45 |
| #4 | GaY asf | +0.29 | 42 | 64 |
| #5 | schizzz | +0.09 | 42 | 68 |





