








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 884 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 168 matches | ||
| Premier | 106 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2333 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,187 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4180 | 24% |
| Smokes | 5273 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3680 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4054 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,095,966 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 661 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | faSd | 65% | 34 |
| #2 | GaY asf | 56% | 62 |
| #3 | schizzz | 55% | 71 |
| #4 | Meh | 53% | 149 |
| #5 | Sansa | 51% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | ne regaet | 50% | 18 |
| #7 | monkey | 50% | 30 |
| #8 | Salty Style | 49% | 69 |
| #9 | siliconboi | 48% | 44 |
| #10 | Володя сисичкин | 47% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meh | 10 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | monkey | 9 | 0.0157 |
| #3 | GaY asf | 5 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Володя сисичкин | 5 | 0.0071 |
| #5 | Sansa | 4 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | schizzz | 356 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #2 | GaY asf | 329 | 0.25 | 7 min |
| #3 | Meh | 196 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #4 | Salty Style | 112 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | faSd | 105 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sansa | +3.83 | 48 | 23 |
| #2 | ne regaet | +2.97 | 42 | 60 |
| #3 | siliconboi | +1.13 | 33 | 35 |
| #4 | schizzz | +0.69 | 52 | 71 |
| #5 | GaY asf | +0.60 | 39 | 63 |





