








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1302 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,354 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1684 | 39% |
| Smokes | 701 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1199 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 770 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $233,306 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joscf | 72% | 25 |
| #2 | N4 | 69% | 16 |
| #3 | N4i | 68% | 40 |
| #4 | LeoTioL | 62% | 81 |
| #5 | mikesherm | 51% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joscf | 72% | 25 |
| #2 | N4 | 69% | 16 |
| #3 | N4i | 68% | 40 |
| #4 | LeoTioL | 62% | 81 |
| #5 | mikesherm | 51% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LeoTioL | 26 | 0.0180 |
| #2 | mikesherm | 7 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | Joscf | 7 | 0.0145 |
| #4 | N4 | 3 | 0.0130 |
| #5 | N4i | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LeoTioL | 145 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #2 | N4i | 124 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | Joscf | 40 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | mikesherm | 36 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | N4 | 29 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N4 | +5.80 | 91 | 57 |
| #2 | N4i | +5.62 | 90 | 58 |
| #3 | Fraser | +2.22 | 54 | 49 |
| #4 | Joscf | +1.66 | 83 | 45 |
| #5 | LeoTioL | +0.28 | 52 | 34 |





