








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 19 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 197 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Wingman | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




96 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3071 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,844 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1755 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1307 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 2966 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 2816 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,188,804 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N4 | 68% | 28 |
| #2 | N4i | 67% | 67 |
| #3 | Fraser | 62% | 81 |
| #4 | Acara | 62% | 39 |
| #5 | Joscf | 60% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joscf | 18 | 0.0113 |
| #2 | Fraser | 14 | 0.0097 |
| #3 | N4 | 8 | 0.0148 |
| #4 | DJ Kroaker | 4 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | N4i | 3 | 0.0023 |





