








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 131 matches | ||
| Premier | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1292 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,466 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1587 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2383 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 1296 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1200 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $592,455 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lowqee | 60% | 30 |
| #2 | foggy | 52% | 23 |
| #3 | fUsEr | 52% | 25 |
| #4 | Lemon | 48% | 82 |
| #5 | skeeter | 46% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | skeeter | 46% | 50 |
| #6 | BueneTo^ | 46% | 37 |
| #7 | AstofGaming | 38% | 72 |
| #8 | [RNG] Blade223333 | 29% | 17 |
| #9 | [RNG]Werewolf | 26% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AstofGaming | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | [RNG]Werewolf | 3 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | foggy | 2 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | lowqee | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | [RNG] Blade223333 | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lemon | 263 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #2 | AstofGaming | 261 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #3 | fUsEr | 67 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | [RNG] Blade223333 | 51 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | BueneTo^ | 37 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skeeter | +4.59 | 68 | 45 |
| #2 | foggy | +3.48 | 45 | 47 |
| #3 | AstofGaming | +3.47 | 42 | 50 |
| #4 | lowqee | +3.15 | 73 | 37 |
| #5 | fUsEr | +0.43 | 24 | 58 |





