








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 181 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September

The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
999 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,228 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1078 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1038 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1047 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1065 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $835,445 of utility $222 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 224 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Evž | 62% | 63 |
| #2 | DALLLY | 62% | 55 |
| #3 | Eevee | 60% | 20 |
| #4 | Easy_Cancer | 59% | 17 |
| #5 | mogger | 57% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mogger | 9 | 0.0177 |
| #2 | neky98 | 4 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | nokyja | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Evž | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | DALLLY | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DALLLY | 261 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #2 | nokyja | 168 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | Evž | 49 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | mogger | 48 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Eevee | 40 | 0.11 | 1 min |





