








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 350 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September

The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 72 matches | ||
| Premier | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2170 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,795 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2420 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2166 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 4536 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 4673 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,092,491 of utility $186 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 71 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zeLL | 73% | 51 |
| #2 | Free Volvo Money | 57% | 28 |
| #3 | rumor | 56% | 32 |
| #4 | DrKarrma | 56% | 34 |
| #5 | Phunk | 52% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | dankeD | 48% | 96 |
| #10 | Pandar the Destroyer | 47% | 200 |
| #11 | cуρh☈ ツ | 45% | 33 |
| #12 | thedapperd0n | 42% | 31 |
| #13 | disfuntion | 39% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | getDERANKED | 14 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Pandar the Destroyer | 9 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Noodle | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Jenna Ortega With A Shotgun | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | cуρh☈ ツ | 3 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | getDERANKED | 1325 | 0.12 | 34 min |
| #2 | Jenna Ortega With A Shotgun | 916 | 0.27 | 24 min |
| #3 | Pandar the Destroyer | 776 | 0.19 | 16 min |
| #4 | Noodle | 678 | 0.24 | 18 min |
| #5 | Phunk | 185 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zeLL | +4.36 | 71 | 59 |
| #2 | Phunk | +3.51 | 65 | 68 |
| #3 | dankeD | +3.32 | 78 | 50 |
| #4 | Free Volvo Money | +3.08 | 61 | 75 |
| #5 | Pandar the Destroyer | +2.79 | 58 | 60 |





