








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 835 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5850 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,655 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5854 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3021 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 5255 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 3525 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,995,685 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 287 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zeLL | 67% | 55 |
| #2 | Free Volvo Money | 60% | 30 |
| #3 | DrKarrma | 54% | 35 |
| #4 | rumor | 53% | 38 |
| #5 | Phunk | 52% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Jenna Ortega With A Shotgun | 48% | 182 |
| #10 | Pandar the Destroyer | 48% | 226 |
| #11 | dankeD | 47% | 98 |
| #12 | cуρh☈ ツ | 46% | 37 |
| #13 | thedapperd0n | 42% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tacho3boutit | 13 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Pandar the Destroyer | 10 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Jenna Ortega With A Shotgun | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Noodle | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | cуρh☈ ツ | 3 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tacho3boutit | 1082 | 0.10 | 23 min |
| #2 | Jenna Ortega With A Shotgun | 986 | 0.27 | 26 min |
| #3 | Pandar the Destroyer | 863 | 0.19 | 19 min |
| #4 | Noodle | 797 | 0.25 | 21 min |
| #5 | Phunk | 181 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zeLL | +4.22 | 71 | 59 |
| #2 | Phunk | +3.69 | 65 | 67 |
| #3 | dankeD | +3.21 | 78 | 51 |
| #4 | Free Volvo Money | +3.19 | 62 | 75 |
| #5 | Pandar the Destroyer | +2.58 | 57 | 60 |





