








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 161 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
620 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,543 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 357 | 23% |
| Smokes | 505 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 404 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 277 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $265,806 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 84 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BaconWoman | 92% | 13 |
| #2 | hahaha darn | 83% | 6 |
| #3 | BigLot | 57% | 28 |
| #4 | Brendan Fraser | 54% | 13 |
| #5 | Blazin_Bolt | 53% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Mogger | 48% | 46 |
| #10 | Ballin' | 48% | 21 |
| #11 | GoBolts | 44% | 16 |
| #12 | Buk | 40% | 25 |
| #13 | Busta | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KyMilo | 4 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Mogger | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Buk | 2 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | BigLot | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Blazin_Bolt | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mogger | 100 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #2 | KyMilo | 92 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | Ballin' | 88 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #4 | Blazin_Bolt | 79 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #5 | BaconWoman | 57 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BaconWoman | +6.65 | 64 | 67 |
| #2 | Ballin' | +4.79 | 66 | 68 |
| #3 | hahaha darn | +4.14 | 75 | 63 |
| #4 | Fortin' with Will | +1.90 | 71 | 58 |
| #5 | Imagine being a farmer | +1.30 | 67 | 56 |





