








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
842 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,555 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 180 | 12% |
| Smokes | 284 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 688 | 44% |
| Molotovs | 403 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $489,672 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 52 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lance Armstrong | 60% | 15 |
| #2 | Luii | 59% | 27 |
| #3 | Saradomin | 51% | 114 |
| #4 | Kohinoor Diamond | 46% | 104 |
| #5 | Gucici | 44% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Saradomin | 51% | 114 |
| #4 | Kohinoor Diamond | 46% | 104 |
| #5 | Gucici | 44% | 82 |
| #6 | S1mple e autistic | 42% | 26 |
| #7 | BurntFriedToast | 38% | 124 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saradomin | 42 | 0.0186 |
| #2 | Kohinoor Diamond | 20 | 0.0099 |
| #3 | Gucici | 16 | 0.0099 |
| #4 | Luii | 15 | 0.0270 |
| #5 | BurntFriedToast | 8 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BurntFriedToast | 293 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #2 | Kohinoor Diamond | 280 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | Saradomin | 222 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | Luii | 101 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | S1mple e autistic | 93 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luii | +9.49 | 95 | 40 |
| #2 | S1mple e autistic | +6.22 | 85 | 56 |
| #3 | Saradomin | +2.87 | 49 | 41 |
| #4 | Gucici | +0.63 | 51 | 29 |
| #5 | Kohinoor Diamond | -0.34 | 36 | 48 |





