








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 348 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 159 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 131 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 105 matches | ||
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3043 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,857 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 640 | 22% |
| Smokes | 789 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 474 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 954 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $417,322 of utility $45 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 320 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | adzzer | 43% | 106 |
| #2 | I <3 furry wolf girl ass | 43% | 178 |
| #3 | Jayden’s bus | 31% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | adzzer | 43% | 106 |
| #2 | I <3 furry wolf girl ass | 43% | 178 |
| #3 | Jayden’s bus | 31% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I <3 furry wolf girl ass | 34 | 0.0100 |
| #2 | adzzer | 33 | 0.0167 |
| #3 | Jayden’s bus | 3 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I <3 furry wolf girl ass | 333 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #2 | Jayden’s bus | 59 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | adzzer | 48 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I <3 furry wolf girl ass | +3.97 | 65 | 64 |
| #2 | mburch9828 | -1.90 | 29 | 18 |
| #3 | adzzer | -2.01 | 26 | 34 |
| #4 | Jayden’s bus | -3.28 | 6 | 28 |





