








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 309 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
626 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,474 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 616 | 42% |
| Smokes | 405 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 191 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 262 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $462,673 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 584 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tasteful Jit | 33% | 69 |
| #2 | Void | 31% | 48 |
| #3 | mburch9828 | 31% | 26 |
| #4 | ForeskinGamer88 | 25% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tasteful Jit | 33% | 69 |
| #2 | Void | 31% | 48 |
| #3 | mburch9828 | 31% | 26 |
| #4 | ForeskinGamer88 | 25% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tasteful Jit | 13 | 0.0093 |
| #2 | ForeskinGamer88 | 8 | 0.0277 |
| #3 | mburch9828 | 6 | 0.0114 |
| #4 | Void | 2 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tasteful Jit | 104 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #2 | Void | 47 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | mburch9828 | 43 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | ForeskinGamer88 | 5 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tasteful Jit | +3.22 | 65 | 34 |
| #2 | Void | +1.37 | 58 | 30 |
| #3 | mburch9828 | +0.71 | 41 | 19 |
| #4 | Jayden’s bus | -4.34 | 5 | 27 |
| #5 | ForeskinGamer88 | -6.55 | 2 | 22 |





