








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 240 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
875 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,488 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 237 | 16% |
| Smokes | 631 | 42% |
| HE Grenades | 167 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 453 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $371,149 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DumpyDom | 12 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | Father Mako | 10 | 0.0134 |
| #3 | Dongerlordjr | 7 | 0.0072 |
| #4 | LuiGy | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Furtive Pygmy | 2 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DumpyDom | 251 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #2 | Dongerlordjr | 157 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | Father Mako | 59 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | LuiGy | 52 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | darty | 33 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | darty | +3.94 | 68 | 50 |
| #2 | OG PONCE | +2.33 | 44 | 30 |
| #3 | Selena Quintanilla | +2.19 | 44 | 36 |
| #4 | DumpyDom | +2.12 | 39 | 56 |
| #5 | Dongerlordjr | +1.80 | 45 | 52 |





