








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 168 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
943 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,547 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 814 | 23% |
| Smokes | 740 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1112 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 881 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $695,416 of utility $245 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 185 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Dürüm | 38% | 13 |
| #8 | Styne | 36% | 28 |
| #9 | Wicked Bastard | 35% | 40 |
| #10 | Darkangel | 34% | 32 |
| #11 | dickcheese | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 420Angel | 7 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | Darkangel | 6 | 0.0093 |
| #3 | Styne | 5 | 0.0082 |
| #4 | Wicked Bastard | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Dürüm | 2 | 0.0083 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 420Angel | 126 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #2 | Styne | 98 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | Darkangel | 88 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | Ep0x- | 69 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Wicked Bastard | 66 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dickcheese | +7.77 | 65 | 78 |
| #2 | 420Angel | +2.50 | 47 | 72 |
| #3 | Ep0x- | +1.64 | 76 | 69 |
| #4 | Dürüm | +1.60 | 52 | 68 |
| #5 | Darkangel | +1.43 | 44 | 68 |





