








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1170 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 431 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 121 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6958 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,276 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4531 | 21% |
| Smokes | 5718 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 6424 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 4603 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,133,587 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1703 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | AiiiMZy | 55% | 114 |
| #8 | gO_ose | 54% | 222 |
| #9 | ALEBABA | 52% | 204 |
| #10 | BenHaschisch | 51% | 35 |
| #11 | ~Flame-On~ | 48% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gO_ose | 13 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | ALEBABA | 10 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Boo | 8 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | ProfessorDrKinese | 8 | 0.0068 |
| #5 | ~Flame-On~ | 6 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gO_ose | 384 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #2 | ALEBABA | 234 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #3 | JesusPwnsYa | 187 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | ProfessorDrKinese | 145 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | AiiiMZy | 129 | 0.05 | 3 min |





