








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1641 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1200 matches | ||
| Wingman | 170 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 115 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




65 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10999 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 40,700 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4648 | 11% |
| Smokes | 12454 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 13142 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 10456 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,435,023 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 191 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hanso | 59% | 229 |
| #2 | ~Flame-On~ | 56% | 228 |
| #3 | Hanso 2 | 54% | 222 |
| #4 | JesusPwnsYa | 51% | 363 |
| #5 | ALEBABA | 49% | 264 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hanso | 59% | 229 |
| #2 | ~Flame-On~ | 56% | 228 |
| #3 | Hanso 2 | 54% | 222 |
| #4 | JesusPwnsYa | 51% | 363 |
| #5 | ALEBABA | 49% | 264 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hanso | 18 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Hanso 2 | 16 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | ~Flame-On~ | 14 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | ALEBABA | 9 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | JesusPwnsYa | 6 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hanso | 418 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #2 | Hanso 2 | 395 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #3 | JesusPwnsYa | 369 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #4 | ALEBABA | 333 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #5 | ~Flame-On~ | 247 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hanso 2 | +3.60 | 81 | 61 |
| #2 | ~Flame-On~ | +3.25 | 94 | 45 |
| #3 | Hanso | +2.79 | 76 | 59 |
| #4 | JesusPwnsYa | -0.58 | 44 | 51 |
| #5 | gO_ose | -1.02 | 38 | 49 |





