








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 833 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 301 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 85 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




181 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8762 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,194 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5961 | 31% |
| Smokes | 4079 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 4116 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 5038 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,216,974 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2589 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZeN | 64% | 47 |
| #2 | MSG | 64% | 66 |
| #3 | PheaHmm | 60% | 48 |
| #4 | Kimpo | 56% | 318 |
| #5 | 𝖇𝖆𝖇𝖞 <𝟛 | 56% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | PheaHmm | 60% | 48 |
| #4 | Kimpo | 56% | 318 |
| #5 | 𝖇𝖆𝖇𝖞 <𝟛 | 56% | 107 |
| #6 | 𝕭𝖚𝖙𝖙𝕻𝖑𝖚𝖌 | 56% | 454 |
| #7 | Smoff | 50% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝕭𝖚𝖙𝖙𝕻𝖑𝖚𝖌 | 117 | 0.0132 |
| #2 | Kimpo | 52 | 0.0083 |
| #3 | 𝖇𝖆𝖇𝖞 <𝟛 | 17 | 0.0083 |
| #4 | MSG | 13 | 0.0098 |
| #5 | PheaHmm | 4 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝕭𝖚𝖙𝖙𝕻𝖑𝖚𝖌 | 1549 | 0.17 | 28 min |
| #2 | Kimpo | 738 | 0.12 | 17 min |
| #3 | MSG | 271 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #4 | 𝖇𝖆𝖇𝖞 <𝟛 | 135 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | PheaHmm | 98 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ashhy | +4.45 | 88 | 55 |
| #2 | 𝖇𝖆𝖇𝖞 <𝟛 | +2.27 | 85 | 40 |
| #3 | ZeN | +2.17 | 81 | 59 |
| #4 | PheaHmm | +0.33 | 73 | 39 |
| #5 | Kimpo | -0.42 | 54 | 54 |





