








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1530 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1105 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




184 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12109 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 38,251 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 14072 | 37% |
| Smokes | 6608 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 9324 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 8247 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,396,174 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2072 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ashhy | 56% | 318 |
| #2 | Wheelie Pop-Ups | 56% | 162 |
| #3 | Smoff | 55% | 179 |
| #4 | 𝖇𝖆𝖇𝖞 <𝟛 | 54% | 528 |
| #5 | 𝕭𝖚𝖙𝖙𝕻𝖑𝖚𝖌 | 51% | 818 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ashhy | 56% | 318 |
| #2 | Wheelie Pop-Ups | 56% | 162 |
| #3 | Smoff | 55% | 179 |
| #4 | 𝖇𝖆𝖇𝖞 <𝟛 | 54% | 528 |
| #5 | 𝕭𝖚𝖙𝖙𝕻𝖑𝖚𝖌 | 51% | 818 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝕭𝖚𝖙𝖙𝕻𝖑𝖚𝖌 | 142 | 0.0084 |
| #2 | Ashhy | 95 | 0.0150 |
| #3 | 𝖇𝖆𝖇𝖞 <𝟛 | 50 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | Wheelie Pop-Ups | 8 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Smoff | 5 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝕭𝖚𝖙𝖙𝕻𝖑𝖚𝖌 | 2784 | 0.17 | 58 min |
| #2 | 𝖇𝖆𝖇𝖞 <𝟛 | 904 | 0.08 | 25 min |
| #3 | Ashhy | 778 | 0.12 | 19 min |
| #4 | Wheelie Pop-Ups | 306 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | Smoff | 210 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ashhy | +4.25 | 87 | 56 |
| #2 | 𝖇𝖆𝖇𝖞 <𝟛 | +3.25 | 85 | 52 |
| #3 | Kimpo | -0.15 | 53 | 58 |
| #4 | Wheelie Pop-Ups | -0.53 | 48 | 65 |
| #5 | Smoff | -1.19 | 53 | 59 |





