








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 257 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 260 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




57 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3400 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,589 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4109 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3172 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2156 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 3152 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,614,546 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 772 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BigMotion | 58% | 36 |
| #2 | 6’1 | 57% | 28 |
| #3 | vampish ☦ | 52% | 44 |
| #4 | deadendxxx | 50% | 171 |
| #5 | Jrscy | 50% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I drink ARAB discharge | 25 | 0.0137 |
| #2 | Jrscy | 10 | 0.0149 |
| #3 | KID 山本 | 8 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | deadendxxx | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | vampish ☦ | 7 | 0.0079 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deadendxxx | 359 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #2 | I'm a good boy. | 175 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | Jrscy | 161 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #4 | 6’1 | 125 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #5 | broglennn | 120 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I drink ARAB discharge | +4.06 | 63 | 22 |
| #2 | Kirito | +1.47 | 48 | 55 |
| #3 | Jrscy | +1.36 | 54 | 63 |
| #4 | vampish ☦ | +1.35 | 55 | 54 |
| #5 | HardYaka | +1.11 | 52 | 49 |





