








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 18 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1291 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,896 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1706 | 29% |
| Smokes | 693 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 2019 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1478 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $421,709 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 152 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elmo | 64% | 28 |
| #2 | Macke | 55% | 64 |
| #3 | Pepe the Prawn King | 53% | 57 |
| #4 | IGL City Gross | 50% | 14 |
| #5 | El Glido | 49% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pepe the Prawn King | 124 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #2 | Joar | 98 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | Macke | 94 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | Elmo | 52 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | El Glido | 45 | 0.05 | 1 min |





