








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 139 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
518 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,661 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 789 | 48% |
| Smokes | 157 | 9% |
| HE Grenades | 416 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 299 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $177,335 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 206 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elmo | 57% | 7 |
| #2 | Mackelito | 57% | 21 |
| #3 | Joar | 53% | 30 |
| #4 | Kermit the Frog | 47% | 19 |
| #5 | Macke | 42% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pepe the Prawn King | 80 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #2 | Joar | 61 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | Kermit the Frog | 39 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | Mackelito | 27 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Macke | 23 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mackelito | +5.58 | 83 | 65 |
| #2 | Macke | +5.25 | 80 | 68 |
| #3 | Elmo | +3.42 | 81 | 55 |
| #4 | Joar | +3.30 | 64 | 72 |
| #5 | ᵛᵃˡᵛᵉ Nisses S60™ | +1.49 | 42 | 52 |





