








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3259 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 146 matches | ||
| Faceit | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 53 matches | ||
| Wingman | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 77 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




65 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4936 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,641 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3913 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4335 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4115 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3278 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,757,533 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2868 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | geO | 72% | 46 |
| #2 | Trueshot*Calamity | 62% | 26 |
| #3 | •๋● ☯R1` | 58% | 24 |
| #4 | BettyWhite | 57% | 42 |
| #5 | nich | 56% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | BettyWhite | 57% | 42 |
| #5 | nich | 56% | 39 |
| #6 | dDeeVo | 53% | 72 |
| #7 | ✪Merk | 51% | 45 |
| #8 | Roundedtexas | 42% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dDeeVo | 14 | 0.0094 |
| #2 | ✪Merk | 5 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | nich | 4 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | Trueshot*Calamity | 3 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | geO | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dDeeVo | 433 | 0.29 | 12 min |
| #2 | geO | 169 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #3 | nich | 134 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | ✪Merk | 133 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | Roundedtexas | 107 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | geO | +4.39 | 90 | 71 |
| #2 | SirPolar | +3.72 | 85 | 66 |
| #3 | Trueshot*Calamity | +2.63 | 72 | 63 |
| #4 | dDeeVo | +2.51 | 77 | 83 |
| #5 | BettyWhite | +2.39 | 81 | 58 |





