








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 274 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Premier | 29 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
665 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,015 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 208 | 20% |
| Smokes | 252 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 325 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 230 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $681,331 of utility $223 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 182 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sprx. | 55% | 44 |
| #2 | 999 | 51% | 86 |
| #3 | B I G Dixon | 51% | 112 |
| #4 | ғʀɪǫ_ғ12 | 45% | 22 |
| #5 | Vince Masuka | 45% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | B I G Dixon | 51% | 112 |
| #4 | ғʀɪǫ_ғ12 | 45% | 22 |
| #5 | Vince Masuka | 45% | 77 |
| #6 | Angel Batista | 42% | 24 |
| #7 | B I G hubigoacik | 38% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | B I G Dixon | 19 | 0.0087 |
| #2 | sprx. | 17 | 0.0203 |
| #3 | 999 | 15 | 0.0088 |
| #4 | Angel Batista | 9 | 0.0218 |
| #5 | Vince Masuka | 7 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 999 | 355 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #2 | B I G Dixon | 255 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | B I G hubigoacik | 100 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | ғʀɪǫ_ғ12 | 75 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | Vince Masuka | 38 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | B I G Dixon | +5.15 | 54 | 53 |
| #2 | sprx. | +3.02 | 22 | 34 |
| #3 | Angel Batista | +2.48 | 28 | 42 |
| #4 | ғʀɪǫ_ғ12 | +1.41 | 28 | 42 |
| #5 | 999 | -0.15 | 17 | 44 |





