








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 245 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1462 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,597 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 660 | 41% |
| Smokes | 370 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 327 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 240 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $270,659 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 106 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JJaxs93 | 80% | 25 |
| #2 | SouthBeachSloth | 68% | 19 |
| #3 | AWPortunity Rover | 55% | 20 |
| #4 | Daphne | 50% | 8 |
| #5 | Kings | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JJaxs93 | 80% | 25 |
| #2 | SouthBeachSloth | 68% | 19 |
| #3 | AWPortunity Rover | 55% | 20 |
| #4 | Daphne | 50% | 8 |
| #5 | Kings | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JJaxs93 | 2 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Kings | 1 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AWPortunity Rover | 32 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #2 | Daphne | 26 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #3 | JJaxs93 | 24 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | SouthBeachSloth | 20 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | Kings | 10 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BB-9978 | +3.07 | 90 | 32 |
| #2 | SouthBeachSloth | -0.40 | 77 | 53 |
| #3 | Daphne | -1.03 | 32 | 60 |
| #4 | Kings | -1.86 | 64 | 52 |
| #5 | AWPortunity Rover | -1.97 | 48 | 58 |





