








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 297 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 386 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2562 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,040 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2004 | 17% |
| Smokes | 5004 | 42% |
| HE Grenades | 3311 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1721 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,216,802 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 391 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Velma | 56% | 43 |
| #2 | Fred | 50% | 40 |
| #3 | Scooby Doo | 49% | 327 |
| #4 | AWPortunity Rover | 47% | 49 |
| #5 | Shaggy | 47% | 245 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Velma | 56% | 43 |
| #2 | Fred | 50% | 40 |
| #3 | Scooby Doo | 49% | 327 |
| #4 | AWPortunity Rover | 47% | 49 |
| #5 | Shaggy | 47% | 245 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scooby Doo | 26 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Velma | 9 | 0.0093 |
| #3 | Shaggy | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | AWPortunity Rover | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Fred | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shaggy | 979 | 0.19 | 23 min |
| #2 | Scooby Doo | 473 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #3 | Velma | 127 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | AWPortunity Rover | 95 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Fred | 4 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scooby Doo | +0.58 | 62 | 50 |
| #2 | AWPortunity Rover | +0.29 | 53 | 62 |
| #3 | Shaggy | -0.11 | 39 | 66 |
| #4 | Daphne | -0.21 | 56 | 49 |
| #5 | Velma | -2.23 | 37 | 49 |





