










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 103 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1439 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,413 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 306 | 13% |
| Smokes | 695 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1001 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 411 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $523,049 of utility $206 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1246 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ʎƃƃᴉԀ | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | riperoni | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | MobiuS | 71% | 14 |
| #4 | ⅻ | 50% | 22 |
| #5 | CoD is better | 43% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ʎƃƃᴉԀ | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | riperoni | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | MobiuS | 71% | 14 |
| #4 | ⅻ | 50% | 22 |
| #5 | CoD is better | 43% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CoD is better | 3 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | ⅻ | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⅻ | 200 | 0.41 | 5 min |
| #2 | MobiuS | 92 | 0.33 | 2 min |
| #3 | CoD is better | 76 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | ʎƃƃᴉԀ | 46 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #5 | riperoni | 34 | 0.25 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⅻ | +1.97 | 83 | 57 |
| #2 | ʎƃƃᴉԀ | +1.89 | 61 | 69 |
| #3 | Blaze | +1.50 | 67 | 31 |
| #4 | MobiuS | +0.91 | 81 | 66 |
| #5 | riperoni | -0.86 | 64 | 70 |





