








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 915 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 735 matches | ||
| Esplay | 76 matches | 1,599 | |
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9777 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,137 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4329 | 16% |
| Smokes | 5603 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 12258 | 45% |
| Molotovs | 4947 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,645,940 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 337 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bamse | 9 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Heemsk e du | 8 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Sandalen | 7 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | Olovski '') | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Escobars_sideh0e | 4 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sandalen | +1.69 | 57 | 61 |
| #2 | Slaktaren | +1.42 | 56 | 32 |
| #3 | Olovski '') | +1.29 | 54 | 65 |
| #4 | Heemsk e du | +1.28 | 56 | 51 |
| #5 | ☩ .m I N I L I T O. ☩ | +0.32 | 49 | 52 |





