








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 884 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 802 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 29 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Esplay | 4 matches | 1,408 | |
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




52 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10757 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,634 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9857 | 30% |
| Smokes | 6700 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 7129 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 8948 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,466,516 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1506 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JoJo | 66% | 65 |
| #2 | Ovuvuevuevue | 52% | 61 |
| #3 | Johnny Blaze | 52% | 61 |
| #4 | ☩ mINI. - | 52% | 64 |
| #5 | Uncle P. | 48% | 143 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ☩ mINI. - | 52% | 64 |
| #5 | Uncle P. | 48% | 143 |
| #6 | ICE | 48% | 83 |
| #7 | ☩ .m I N I L I T O. ☩ | 43% | 130 |
| #8 | BjÖrK | 40% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johnny Blaze | 8 | 0.0118 |
| #2 | BjÖrK | 6 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | Uncle P. | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | ☩ .m I N I L I T O. ☩ | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | ICE | 4 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ICE | 325 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #2 | ☩ .m I N I L I T O. ☩ | 145 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | ☩ mINI. - | 103 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | Uncle P. | 102 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | Johnny Blaze | 71 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JoJo | +6.97 | 72 | 46 |
| #2 | Heemsk e du | +1.54 | 59 | 52 |
| #3 | Johnny Blaze | +0.98 | 49 | 48 |
| #4 | ☩ mINI. - | +0.70 | 54 | 55 |
| #5 | ☩ .m I N I L I T O. ☩ | +0.66 | 38 | 51 |





