








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 105 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 537 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4979 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,929 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6402 | 26% |
| Smokes | 5158 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 7496 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 5873 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,260,009 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 137 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿Tsekkipiiska♿ | 65% | 101 |
| #2 | lartza | 60% | 137 |
| #3 | Zsumppi | 58% | 101 |
| #4 | Spesiaali | 57% | 37 |
| #5 | RUMPPO | 57% | 161 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | lartza | 53% | 86 |
| #7 | MiniTomaatti | 53% | 77 |
| #8 | Noa!m | 51% | 35 |
| #9 | Henkisesti silver | 48% | 110 |
| #10 | 4llwaysBad | 46% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RUMPPO | 9 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | lartza | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Zsumppi | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | lartza | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Henkisesti silver | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RUMPPO | 345 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #2 | Henkisesti silver | 308 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #3 | lartza | 293 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | ♿Tsekkipiiska♿ | 226 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #5 | 4llwaysBad | 202 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 4llwaysBad | +2.00 | 61 | 62 |
| #2 | Noa!m | +1.78 | 56 | 62 |
| #3 | Spesiaali | +0.66 | 52 | 62 |
| #4 | SeksiB | +0.18 | 48 | 68 |
| #5 | lartza | +0.10 | 65 | 64 |





