








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1554 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 99 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 72 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2245 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,516 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1826 | 40% |
| Smokes | 975 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 730 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 985 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $781,482 of utility $226 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 173 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slick | 59% | 96 |
| #2 | suck mah Di.ck | 59% | 54 |
| #3 | TEPPO TESTAA | 59% | 76 |
| #4 | Scooby-jew | 57% | 23 |
| #5 | Jouni Peltonen | 56% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Scooby-jew | 57% | 23 |
| #5 | Jouni Peltonen | 56% | 52 |
| #6 | Verokarhu | 55% | 22 |
| #7 | MASA | 47% | 53 |
| #8 | liete mies 61 | 42% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jouni Peltonen | 41 | 0.0399 |
| #2 | slick | 32 | 0.0182 |
| #3 | TEPPO TESTAA | 10 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | MASA | 4 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | suck mah Di.ck | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jouni Peltonen | 274 | 0.27 | 6 min |
| #2 | slick | 222 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | TEPPO TESTAA | 209 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | MASA | 184 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #5 | suck mah Di.ck | 65 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sigmermale | +5.60 | 86 | 66 |
| #2 | slick | +0.60 | 43 | 51 |
| #3 | Jouni Peltonen | +0.20 | 64 | 46 |
| #4 | liete mies 61 | -0.31 | 48 | 47 |
| #5 | MASA | -0.62 | 50 | 58 |





