








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 419 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
762 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,512 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1197 | 48% |
| Smokes | 672 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 422 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 221 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $279,665 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 326 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sigmermale | 56% | 52 |
| #2 | MASA | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | Verokarhu | 55% | 22 |
| #4 | TEPPO TESTAA | 54% | 65 |
| #5 | liete mies 61 | 50% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Verokarhu | 55% | 22 |
| #4 | TEPPO TESTAA | 54% | 65 |
| #5 | liete mies 61 | 50% | 6 |
| #6 | suck mah Di.ck | 50% | 44 |
| #7 | slick | 13% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sigmermale | 19 | 0.0184 |
| #2 | TEPPO TESTAA | 15 | 0.0124 |
| #3 | slick | 8 | 0.0593 |
| #4 | suck mah Di.ck | 4 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | Verokarhu | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sigmermale | 252 | 0.24 | 8 min |
| #2 | TEPPO TESTAA | 156 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | suck mah Di.ck | 68 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | MASA | 37 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #5 | slick | 23 | 0.17 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sigmermale | +5.65 | 85 | 64 |
| #2 | MASA | +1.48 | 39 | 63 |
| #3 | Jouni Peltonen | +1.18 | 70 | 52 |
| #4 | liete mies 61 | +0.48 | 56 | 53 |
| #5 | slick | -0.64 | 49 | 46 |





