








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 424 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 73 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
753 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,860 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 917 | 32% |
| Smokes | 942 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 689 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 312 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $491,036 of utility $220 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 289 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MASA | 62% | 21 |
| #2 | Sigmermale | 59% | 76 |
| #3 | slick | 55% | 20 |
| #4 | Jouni Peltonen | 54% | 65 |
| #5 | Verokarhu | 50% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Sigmermale | 59% | 76 |
| #3 | slick | 55% | 20 |
| #4 | Jouni Peltonen | 54% | 65 |
| #5 | Verokarhu | 50% | 26 |
| #6 | suck mah Di.ck | 47% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jouni Peltonen | 35 | 0.0292 |
| #2 | Sigmermale | 20 | 0.0129 |
| #3 | slick | 8 | 0.0196 |
| #4 | suck mah Di.ck | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | Verokarhu | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sigmermale | 339 | 0.22 | 11 min |
| #2 | Jouni Peltonen | 263 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #3 | suck mah Di.ck | 82 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | MASA | 68 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | slick | 63 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sigmermale | +5.98 | 83 | 69 |
| #2 | Jouni Peltonen | +0.91 | 74 | 48 |
| #3 | slick | +0.69 | 36 | 64 |
| #4 | MASA | +0.39 | 56 | 59 |
| #5 | suck mah Di.ck | -2.22 | 51 | 42 |





