








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 59 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 210 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3520 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,883 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2265 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2984 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2680 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1954 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $650,409 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deviant d | 65% | 20 |
| #2 | Angrboda | 53% | 15 |
| #3 | Uhhkilleaze | 52% | 25 |
| #4 | Achillez | 52% | 93 |
| #5 | _Itzel_ | 50% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Angrboda | 53% | 15 |
| #3 | Uhhkilleaze | 52% | 25 |
| #4 | Achillez | 52% | 93 |
| #5 | _Itzel_ | 50% | 16 |
| #6 | MassiveUnit | 49% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deviant d | 4 | 0.0093 |
| #2 | Achillez | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | MassiveUnit | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Uhhkilleaze | 2 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | Angrboda | 1 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Achillez | 415 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #2 | Uhhkilleaze | 101 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #3 | MassiveUnit | 47 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | deviant d | 34 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Angrboda | 9 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deviant d | +2.17 | 51 | 46 |
| #2 | Ballsac | +2.09 | 72 | 55 |
| #3 | Uhhkilleaze | +1.35 | 55 | 76 |
| #4 | Achillez | -0.23 | 60 | 68 |
| #5 | MassiveUnit | -0.41 | 54 | 54 |





