








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1542 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 983 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 89 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10954 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,579 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3394 | 16% |
| Smokes | 6358 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 7233 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 3594 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,020,985 of utility $226 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 946 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr. wowwowweewow | 48% | 95 |
| #2 | Achillez | 48% | 85 |
| #3 | MassiveUnit | 48% | 206 |
| #4 | Ben's Taco Truck | 47% | 98 |
| #5 | jibbly | 43% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr. wowwowweewow | 48% | 95 |
| #2 | Achillez | 48% | 85 |
| #3 | MassiveUnit | 48% | 206 |
| #4 | Ben's Taco Truck | 47% | 98 |
| #5 | jibbly | 43% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MassiveUnit | 12 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Ben's Taco Truck | 11 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | jibbly | 7 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | Dr. wowwowweewow | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Achillez | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Achillez | 399 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #2 | MassiveUnit | 280 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #3 | Dr. wowwowweewow | 104 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | Ben's Taco Truck | 76 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | jibbly | 9 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Achillez | +1.68 | 61 | 67 |
| #2 | Angrboda | +0.98 | 76 | 54 |
| #3 | MassiveUnit | +0.82 | 55 | 54 |
| #4 | Ben's Taco Truck | +0.46 | 74 | 35 |
| #5 | Dr. wowwowweewow | +0.15 | 65 | 51 |





